You Know It Ends In A Fiery Plane Crash, Right?

I was recently telling my wife about my day and mentioned the “I can’t trust myself” drawers. “Huh? What’s that?” she asked. I explained that I have a drawer for each of my four classes called the “I can’t trust myself to hang on to this” drawer. They are for students who have trouble keeping or finding unfinished work. She started laughing. I don’t know why, but she found it hilariously funny.

I told her I reserve the right to entertain myself and I do so as often as possible. This conversation got me thinking about all the things that have made me smirk, smile, laugh and giggle this year.

• Like my “Do Now” in the middle of the space unit that asked: “What is the Dark Side of the Moon?” I confirmed that none of my students are familiar with the work of a little known progressive rock band called Pink Floyd.

• Or my Paul McCartney question on a “Do Now.” They now know Sir Paul is in the Rock ‘n Roll hall of fame three times and Kanye West is just not that important (but don’t worry, I’m gonna let you finish.) 

• Watching students, who had been warned repeatedly about keeping all four feet of their chairs on the floor, tumble out of those tilted-back chairs. When I say students with an “s” on the end, I mean quite a few. How can you help but laugh as each one climbs up off the floor with a sheepish grin on his face? (Yes, it is always boys).

• The “I can follow instructions” test hidden within a chemistry test. Yes, only one student successfully read and followed the instructions.

• My intonation of “number nine, number nine” whenever we do problem number nine in math. They don’t get it but it makes me smile.

• Since my room doesn’t have much of a view, I use my projector to show live cam views from around, literally sometimes, the world when the kids are working hard. These always make me smile. The ISS live cam is one I project a lot. Here are a few of my favorites:

International Space Station 

San Francisco  

Lithuania

Rome

• I really enjoyed the subtle sabotage of my students who were reading To Kill a Mockingbird. “Have you gotten to the plane crash yet? You know it ends in a fiery plane crash, right? Oh, sorry, no more spoilers.” It went to a whole different level when students started cranking their friends on the plane crash thing. 

I do like to have fun and I often include my students in my jokes, but sometimes they don’t get them. And that’s fine. They are young and inexperienced. The kids are funny in their own right and they often make me laugh. For me, that’s one of my favorite parts of being a teacher - laughing with my students (and, occasionally, at them).

This is not how To Kill a Mockingbird ends.

Three, Two, One........One........Eyes on Me.............

And still the chatter continues. Talk about who said what to whom. Talk about homework for geometry class. Talk about gum and snacks. Talk, talk, talk. The buzz of several voices blending together into a low rumble. 

You do know, I can see your lips moving? 

You do realize, I know you are talking and not listening, right? 

I can see and hear you. 

I am looking at the back of your head and that means you are not paying attention to me. It means you are engaged in conversation with the person behind you. It is obvious.

I wait until I have 90% of the class's attention. This might be as good as it gets today. I have a lesson to teach and don’t have time to waste waiting for absolute silence.

“Please do this sheet,” I say, holding up a worksheet, “for homework.” 

“This sheet is your homework, and it is due Wednesday,” I say in my big radio voice. 

“Please note, there is a front and back for this sheet. Please do front and back for homework. It is due Wednesday,” I instruct for the third time.

And then it happens. It’s as predictable as the sunrise.

“Is there homework?” a bewildered voice calls out.

<Sigh> “Yes, this,” I say again, holding up the worksheet, “is for homework and it is due Wednesday.”

Then, I start calling students out by name.

“Betty (name changed to protect the guilty) how are you listening if you are talking to Amanda (again, name changed to protect the guilty)?” I inquire.

“I wasn’t talking!” exclaims Betty. 

Hmmmmmm, I think to myself. I must have been mistaken. I saw their lips moving. I saw their eyes locked on each other and not me. I heard their voices. My mistake, I guess. 

I move on, “Please put your homework where it needs to be in order to get home, get done, and get back to class.”

“Huh? Are we doing this sheet now?” Betty and Amanda ask, with a nice harmony in their joined voices.

And there it is.... an unintended admission. The smoking gun, so to speak. Confirmation. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case.

“No, that sheet is your homework, and it is due Wednesday,” I say, for what feels like the 17th time.

Time to begin our lesson: “Without talking about it, please pull out the packet we were working on yesterday about cell theory,” I instruct. 

“But, what about this sheet?” another student asks with a whiney tone in his voice, holding up the homework worksheet.

And in my head, all I am hearing is “AAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH.”

Three Things I Learned During PARRC Testing

We’ve just finished our second, and final, round of PARCC ( BTW, PARCC stands for Partnership for Assessment of Readiness for College and Careers) testing for this school year. This round included the science MCAS (Massachusetts Comprehensive Assessment System) test as well. As a teacher my role is to administer the tests. 

All I can say is thank heavens it’s over.

The Department of Education is a little fanatical about security. They have a host of security measures that the test administrators must follow. Probably the most important is that the test administrator must monitor the students taking the test and do nothing else. As a result, my first take away from the PARRC process is:

1. There is nothing more boring than spending two hours watching people take a test. Really, a total snorefest. I wander around the room, making sure all the students are working on the test, not talking, gesturing or using their pencils to tap out morse code. Honestly, I’d rather take the test than watch people take it.

2. The second thing I learned was that lots of kids raise their arms in the air when they are thinking. Of course, I’m thinking they have a question or problem so I rush over and he or she gives me this bewildered look as if to ask “Why on Earth are you here?”

3. Finally, I don’t think the PARRC people write great questions. From what I saw on the math practice tests, they sometimes bury the question. Instead of wording a problem in a simple and understandable manner, they seem to go out of their way to obscure the knowledge or skill they are testing for. They make it harder than it needs to be.

Anyway, I’m glad it over for the year, and I’m absolutely sure my students are as well.

Memorial Day - Let Us Not Forget

Memorial Day is a day of remembrance for those who have died in service of the United States of America. It is a day to honor our fallen men and women.

While it’s never a mistake to thank a vet for his service, Memorial Day is not about our veterans. Memorial Day is the one day each year when we thank the men who died in the service of our nation. 

The United States has lost men in three dozen conflicts dating from the Revolutionary War to the war in Iraq. Americans have died fighting for their country and their country’s political/military goals in every corner of the map. Our servicemen have died on the beaches of Normandy, the rolling fields of Virginia, the jungles of Vietnam, the mountains of Afghanistan and the shores of Tripoli.

More than a million Americans have died in the service of our country. Each one a very personal tragedy for the men and their families. 

Begun as a way to honor those who died fighting the Civil War, Memorial Day evolved to honor Americans who died fighting in any war. The original date May 30th was chosen because it did not fall on the anniversary of any specific battle. In 1971, Memorial Day (along with several other federal holidays) was moved to the last Monday in May to create a three-day weekend.

In retrospect, the creation of the three-day Memorial Day weekend seems to have diluted the importance of the holiday. 

According to Veterans of Foreign Wars organization “Changing the date merely to create three-day weekends has undermined the very meaning of the day. No doubt, this has contributed greatly to the general public’s nonchalant observance of Memorial Day.”

And, I might add, misunderstanding of the holiday. In November we honor the service of all our men and women. On Memorial Day, we honor those who made the ultimate sacrifice and didn’t come home.

Before his passing, Senator Daniel Inouye, A World War II veteran, filed legislation to change the observance of Memorial Day back to May 30th. Others continue working to restore the traditional date to honor our war dead. 

Take a moment out of your shopping, video game playing, and sports-watching to pause and honor all the people who died for our country. Memorial Day is their day, let us not forget them.

I Owe A Lot Of Thank Yous To A Lot Of People.

I said I’d never do it again, but I did. I went back to school for my masters in education. 

I went one night per week for two years. That one night was a very long night - 4:30 to 9:15 and I tried to arrive by 4pm. It made teaching the next day seem super-long because I started the day tired. Couple that with my stupidly long commute and I was a zombie by bedtime.

It was a ton of work and the work got absolutely ridiculous at the end. I’m just trying to catch my breath as I catch up on all the things I deferred while I was finishing my program. Little things like grading student work, home maintenance, spending quality time with my uber-supportive wife.

I owe a lot of thank yous to a lot of people. Thanks to my friends and my kids for being so supportive. I appreciate all the encouragement.

Thank you to the men and women in my cohort at AIC. We were a good group and I hope we stay in touch. I learned as much from you as I did our professors (and in some cases a LOT more).

Thank you to the students who helped me - Nasia and Andrew and Carlos.

I am thankful to the people at the Christa McAullife Charter School and The Hellenic American Academy who were supportive of my efforts. They let me leave early to attend class, and use my students as guinea pigs. I have a special thank you to Mr. Crowley for taking my crew every Tuesday afternoon.

Most importantly, I owe a debt of gratitude to my wife who put up with my stressed-out face, early bed times and long hours locked in my office doing papers, projects, sample lessons and a seemingly unending list of other homeworkie things.

Thank you all - I could not have done it alone. 

Today is my graduation day. Time to celebrate

Flip the tassel, I’m done!

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Everyone takes chemistry in high school. It’s a fact of life and there’s no avoiding it. But, after nearly 40 years of reflection, I ask:

“Why would you want to avoid it?”

It’s just the coolest thing. 

Of course, I didn't always think that. 

When I was in high school I took Chemistry as a junior. I hated it. Now, after thinking about it, I understand why I hated it so much. First, my teacher didn’t want to teach it. I know this because Miss. Arsenault was the faculty advisor of the Astronomy Club, which I had founded with my best friend Joe Bodzoioch. She wasn’t comfortable with it, did a poor job teaching it and, as a result, all her students hated it. It was a lost year for science as far as I was concerned. 

Last year, I had to relearn Chemistry so I could teach it to my 7th and 8th graders. I feel in love with Chemistry. 

Think about this: Everything in the Universe is comprised of different combinations of just 119 things. One hundred and nineteen elements and you’ve got everything in the Universe -  hamsters, pizza and stars and everything in between. And really, almost everything is either Hydrogen or Helium.

Chemical reactions? Don’t get me started. They are amazing. Things that you might not even think of being remotely related to chemistry are, in their essence, chemical reactions. 

This week, we do a quick intro to Chemistry. Hold on to your hats, it’s gonna be a wild ride....... I promise.

I Gaze Into My Crystal Ball.....And All I See Are Pencils

I have put my thinking cap on, done some in-depth analysis, created a scatterplot and I think I can safely offer some predictions about life in my classroom. So, without further adieu, I bring you my predictions for May and June, 2015:

• I will go thru 375 more pencils before the end of school,
• I will hear "do you have a pencil sharpener that works" three times each day,
  
• After every class I will find one to three pieces of homework that were left behind in my classroom. (BTW - That also allows me to predict who won't have their homework tomorrow),
• On a day when we are not using tape, I will find a role of masking tape on the floor,
• I will find hand sanitizer smeared under the Do Now bin on random days,
• Someone will write "Home" on the white board under the last class of the day,
• Three math students will ask "Where's Miss Carr." If she comes in the room more than twelve seconds after them,
• We will lose one hall pass every day and then, miraculously, it will be found the next day. (Where do hall passes go to hide?)
• I will be asked to draw a perfect circle three times per week by eighth graders I do not teach,
• I will tell my students there are 117 questions on the quiz and about 25% of them will believe me.