“Welcome to Science,” I say to begin each class. This is my polite way of asking for your attention. When I say this, students are to stop what they are doing, stop talking, and turn to face me.
Sounds like a great plan, and it is. It’s wonderful when it works, and when it doesn’t?
“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” I say waiting for you to stop playing with your friend’s hair, to stop fretting over the scuff marks on your sneakers, to stop making beautiful eleven-color doodles on your homework, to stop trying to find the the perfectly-right stool to noisily drag to your desk.
I wait.
I shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so loudly my ever-talkative students can hear me over their off-topic, ill-timed and not-doing-any-work conversations.
What on Earth do you have to talk about so completely all of the time?
I can shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so powerfully, it is a shame to waste all the wind and energy just quieting down kids. I should be blowing up party balloons at The Party Store with just one shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh from my lungs.
Sometime’s I think i must sound like one of those Macy’s parade helium-filled balloons with a leak. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. “OMG, the Science Teacher ballon has a leak! Someone call 911. Oh, the humanity!”
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