Three, Two, One........One........Eyes on Me.............

And still the chatter continues. Talk about who said what to whom. Talk about homework for geometry class. Talk about gum and snacks. Talk, talk, talk. The buzz of several voices blending together into a low rumble. 

You do know, I can see your lips moving? 

You do realize, I know you are talking and not listening, right? 

I can see and hear you. 

I am looking at the back of your head and that means you are not paying attention to me. It means you are engaged in conversation with the person behind you. It is obvious.

I wait until I have 90% of the class's attention. This might be as good as it gets today. I have a lesson to teach and don’t have time to waste waiting for absolute silence.

“Please do this sheet,” I say, holding up a worksheet, “for homework.” 

“This sheet is your homework, and it is due Wednesday,” I say in my big radio voice. 

“Please note, there is a front and back for this sheet. Please do front and back for homework. It is due Wednesday,” I instruct for the third time.

And then it happens. It’s as predictable as the sunrise.

“Is there homework?” a bewildered voice calls out.

<Sigh> “Yes, this,” I say again, holding up the worksheet, “is for homework and it is due Wednesday.”

Then, I start calling students out by name.

“Betty (name changed to protect the guilty) how are you listening if you are talking to Amanda (again, name changed to protect the guilty)?” I inquire.

“I wasn’t talking!” exclaims Betty. 

Hmmmmmm, I think to myself. I must have been mistaken. I saw their lips moving. I saw their eyes locked on each other and not me. I heard their voices. My mistake, I guess. 

I move on, “Please put your homework where it needs to be in order to get home, get done, and get back to class.”

“Huh? Are we doing this sheet now?” Betty and Amanda ask, with a nice harmony in their joined voices.

And there it is.... an unintended admission. The smoking gun, so to speak. Confirmation. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case.

“No, that sheet is your homework, and it is due Wednesday,” I say, for what feels like the 17th time.

Time to begin our lesson: “Without talking about it, please pull out the packet we were working on yesterday about cell theory,” I instruct. 

“But, what about this sheet?” another student asks with a whiney tone in his voice, holding up the homework worksheet.

And in my head, all I am hearing is “AAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH.”