Science Humor

I like to laugh.

I enjoy making others laugh. 

I also enjoy science, so when I can combine the two…watch out!

Here are some of my favorite sciencey jokes:

I was reading a book on helium. I couldn’t put it down.

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”

The frog is thrilled! “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?”

“No,” says his advisor, “in her biology class.”

One tectonic plate bumped into another and said, “Sorry, my fault.”

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

A: If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.

Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division.

See if you can figure out the answers to these science riddles. Ask me in class if you need help:

What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?

What did the limestone say to the Geologist?

How do trees get on the internet?

What kind of hair do oceans have?

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Recycling vs. Trash vs. Window Dressing

Let’s begin with some vocabulary:

Recycling: converting waste into reusable material.

Trash: discarded matter; refuse.

Window Dressing: an adroit but superficial or actually misleading presentation of something, designed to create a favorable impression. (It’s nice to think we’re saving the planet, but it’s more important to actually help save it than just to feel good about it.)

In my classroom, I have two trash cans and a large recycling bin. You can help save Earth by getting the right thing into the right container.

Here’s what goes in the recycling bin: Paper, cardboard, plastic bottles, glass (gently, please), and aluminum cans. That’s it! Nothing else!. No used tissues, food, food wrappers/containers, or anything with food reside on it or in it. 

Here’s what goes in the trash can: Everything else. Including, but not limited too: used tissues, food, food wrappers/containers, anything with food reside on it or in it. 

When in doubt, put it in the trash can.

Our 5th graders go around the whole school and collect the recycling. Lets make sure it’s not a gross or dangerous experience for them. They are doing the hard work to help save the planet. They should never have to deal with old, smelly milk spilling out of a recycling bin or someone’s used tissues.

If we’re going to do something, let’s do it right and make a real difference.

A few years ago, I was doing a summer program in a local town. Each day, the custodian would come around with a big rolling bin. He’d pick up the trash can and empty it’s contents into the larger bin. Then, he’d pick up the recycling bin and dump that into the large rolling bin as well. When I asked him about this, he said, “Yeah, we’re not set up for recycling, but it makes everyone feel good if it looks like we are.” 

That, my friends, is an example of window dressing. You can feel good about making even a small difference in the health of our planet but how good can you feel pretending to make a difference?

Let’s recycle properly. Let’s not make it gross and let’s actually help save the planet. Then, we’ll really have something to feel good about. 

FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

Q: When you have students collect the “Do Now,” why do you have them put the papers on your chair?

A: I do that so I have to deal with them as soon as class is over. If I had our scholars put them on my desk, it’s possible I could overlook them for a few hours or days. Putting them on my chair brings them to my attention immediately.

Q: Why don’t you use turn-in bins?

A: Since I teach two grades and four science classes, staying organized is critical. I have found that using turn-in bins becomes very messy. Students put the wrong papers in the wrong bin and it makes grading much more difficult.

Q: Why so much homework?

A: You must be an eighth grader. I give a lot more homework to the eighth grade than the seventh grade. There are several reasons. First, we have a lot to cover and can not get it all done in our 50-minute classes. I tend to give a lot of readings for homework and those are intended to prepare you for the next day’s classwork. Second, your middle school teachers have to get you ready for high school. You will be expected to do even more homework in high school. We are trying to get you used to spending time on academics even when you are not in school and help you develop good habits - like doing your homework.

Q: What’s with the “Mr. McKellar is Currently Reading” signs in the window?

A: I think reading is critically important to learning. Not everything you need to know can be summarized in a 3-minute Youtube video. By sharing what’s on my reading list, I hope to encourage others to read more. 

I read a lot. I usually have a book I’m really reading and an audiobook that I’m listening to in the car. I enjoy reading. I’m curious about a lot of things and reading is how I learn about them. For example, I visited Cuba this past summer and became interested in the history of that island nation. So, I am listening to a book about the history of Cuba. I also love reading fiction. I love how fiction can make you feel for a character, like he or she is a real person. Fiction can touch your emotions in a very special way.

Q: I’m interested in doing Current Events but really, really hate speaking in front of the class. What should I do?

A: I get it. I do not care for public speaking either. The most terrifying part of the year for me is at the end of the school year when I have to present the eighth grade science student award in front of the whole school, and a ton of parents. It takes just thirty seconds to say what I need to say, but those thirty seconds just kill me. As for Current Events, we can share the presentation. I’ll present for you the first couple of times, then you can tell everyone the name of the article, while I explain it and so on. Over time, you’ll become more comfortable speaking in front of your classmates. It is an important skill to develop and you can do that by practicing - like presenting your current event.

Episode VI – Return of the Science Teacher

Welcome to or welcome back to my blog. I write this for and to you, my students. 

This is my forum to write about my life as a teacher, a student and a person. Sometimes, I write to amuse. Sometimes, I write to inform. And, sometimes, I write to help my students put things into perspective.

For some of you, the thought of voluntarily writing an essay - without it being required for a grade - makes no sense. For others, who enjoy expressing themselves with the written word, well… you get it. 

I enjoy writing. For as torturous as the process can be sometimes, I get a lot of satisfaction out of it. I have done a lot of writing in my life for fun and profit. I’ve written for newspapers, magazines and…this is the coolest thing ever…seen my work referenced in a NASA book.

I usually post on Sunday mornings - and no, not at 3:15 a.m. (the posting time is listed as Pacific Standard Time). I will post a link on google classroom, so you’ll get an email notification when there’s something new to read.

I hope you will find them interesting but you’ll all be the judge of that. Please read, share, comment, and disagree with my thoughts and feelings.